Two Year DIAGNOSIVERSARY!!

Two years ago yesterday, I received that life-altering phone call.….you know those calls, the one you are either excited to get or dreading....the one that means you got your dream job or the one that says you have a potentially terminal illness.  In that moment, that 30 seconds, your whole life changes.  

If you've read my post about that day, you know that I got my breast cancer diagnosis while I was at work and honestly, I'm glad it went down that way. I stayed too busy to ruminate on it as much and it gave me time to process without getting too emotional.  

For some of us, the diagnosiversary is a tough day. It can bring up a lot of negative emotions and fears and remind us that it isn't truly over.  I know some women who really struggle on these days.  For me, yesterday was more of a celebration in my mind!  I never once thought about shedding a tear or being sad (the fear of recurrence is always present but no more yesterday than any other day).  Yesterday's anniversary was just another reminder of how good our God is and how He orchestrates the perfect timing of even the scary stuff in our lives.  


Breast Cancer is awful...not going to lie.  But, the diagnosis is NOT the end.  The battle begins when you get that call.  It might be a tough one and you might fall behind along the way.  It can be fought though and even won.  Your life is NOT OVER with the diagnosis. You are just taking a new path.  And, you may find like I did, that the path is a little rough and patchy at times but there are also new joys and discoveries along the way that you never imagined!

I am ever reminded of the amazing people I have met and befriended on this breast cancer journey.  People I NEVER would have met if I hadn't been diagnosed.  It's also a reminder of what a difference early detection can make and how important it is to be screened on time.  I learned so many things about myself and God has stretched me into a ministry I never dreamed I'd be a part of.  

God has a plan.  Even when we cannot see or understand it, He has a plan!  Trust Him and don't let fear reign. Be open to what He might be doing even in what seems an impossible situation. 

As always, I am happy to answer questions or to chat any time, please leave a comment or message me on my Facebook page @bosomthing

Amazing Grace

This past month FB has popped up with lots of memories from last year....like today being the anniversary of my Pre-op Appointment for my Bilateral Mastectomy!

What a crazy and surreal time that was but also amazing!  I know, I know....how does someone refer to a breast cancer diagnosis and subsequent life-altering surgery as "amazing"?

Well, I'll tell you.....

#1: God is good...ALL the time. (Say it with me) And, ALL the time, God is GOOD!
Even in the worst moments, He is in control.  When we don't understand, He does. Once you relinquish control and let HIM guide, great things can happen.  God put me in all the right places at the right time.

Some of you know this, but I was not even supposed to be in San Antonio at the time of my diagnosis. If things had gone according to plan, I would have gotten married the Summer before and moved out of town.  Obviously, having my heart broken and a relationship ending was NOT something I saw as a blessing at the time!  But, in hindsight, God knew where I needed to be, who I needed to be with, and what catalyst it would take to get me there.  That relationship ending gave me the push I needed to leave my job and get back to work in the NICU that I love.  If I had not changed jobs when I did, I would have had an entirely different course of care, physicians, etc. Because of my job, I was in position to work with one of the top surgical oncologists and a renowned plastic surgery group who performed a "gold standard" type of reconstruction!  I was also surrounded by a team of people I love and who love me and supported me throughout the whole journey.  God knew....even when I didn't....amazing!

#2:  You never know how you will be used.
As a nurse, its my job to help people. I think that most nurses feel some inner calling to do just that...just part of our nature.  As a NICU nurse, I never in a million years thought I'd have anything to do with oncology...breast cancer in particular.  Because of my diagnosis, I have met so many people...other women touched by breast cancer, family members and friends.  I have friends now that I would never have met. By sharing my story openly, other women have been helped.  I've volunteered as a patient advocate with two groups and am always willing to lend an ear to another fighter/survivor.  Who would have thought I'd be

walking in breast cancer 5Ks, attending breast cancer awareness events, and blogging my personal life for the world?  My son grew a lot throughout this past year and has participated in events with me too. I believe he will have a better compassion and understanding for others in his life now. Even though this isn't the path I would have chosen, I am happy and blessed that God has allowed me to be used through it.  It is amazing is it to be able to help others!

#3: Grace is typically defined as "the free and unmerited favor of God".  My

breast cancer was caught early (Stage 0) and was contained (DCIS, non-invasive). I got my biopsy within days of the ultrasound that found it. My surgery (within 2 months later) was successful. No other locations were found and my lymph nodes were clear. Yes, I had a bilateral mastectomy, but I woke up CANCER-FREE....no chemo, no radiation.  My recovery was certainly not a breeze, but it was relatively complication free. My revision surgery gave me exactly what I needed and again was complication free.  My overall results (all completed within 1 calendar year) are wonderful. I was significantly blessed!  I know this even more than ever before in my life. I am grateful for things..little things...more than before. I  found out that I am as strong as I hoped I'd be in the face of a scary thing and happier than I imagined I would be again.  And, I surely feel HIS amazing grace in my life.

Here's hoping you feel HIS Amazing Grace in your life this week!

Friendly Reminder!

Happy Sunday!

T-minus 11 hours.....

The big day is tomorrow...11 hours from now I'll be checking in at 0530.

I think I'm ready...I've made my list and checked it twice..or three or four times. ;)

Still need to finish packing for the hospital but other than that I think I'm basically ready.  Every nook and cranny of the house has been cleaned...I even cleaned inside my oven this weekend.  It just felt like there was a lot to do and not enough time, but now I'm sitting here looking for things to do.

Friday was my last day at work and my amazing  coworkers threw me an awesome party!  Since my birthday is also tomorrow, it was a combination birthday/send off.  We had tons of food and they gave me such sweet, thoughtful gifts.

My coworker made this cute cake!

In our main hallway

Each card inside has a personal note written
on it from my friends!

Yesterday, we had a little family celebration.  And today, my son and I went to church and then out to lunch.  Then, I took my son by the library to pick up a few books for him to read....he will have a lot of downtime too.  After that, it was time to head out to the hospital for my lymph node injection.

I was taken to Nuclear Medicine and had to undress from the waist up.  I wore a gown open to the front and laid down on the imaging table.  The tech marked the left shoulder with a felt marker and the word "yes"!  

The radiologist then came in, did the timeout, prepped the breast and injected the dye just under the skin near the areola.  

This was NOT as bad as I had imagined or read.  It truly was a tiny needle stick.  It DOES sting quite a bit as they push the fluid in, but it is over in about a minute.  The stinging initially felt like a bad bee sting, but then more like an ant bite.  She told me it was very similar to a TB test and she was spot on!





The Nuclear Med Tech moved my table into the machine, took one image , and then I was done.

Image taken right after the injection...the dye will be taken up into my lymphatic system
overnight so that Dr. K will be able to identify the sentinel node in the morning.

Tonight, I have to drink 24 oz of a pre-op drink then nothing after midnight.  Tomorrow morning, I have to drink another 12 oz of the same drink and take a Celebrex pill before I arrive at the hospital.  It'll be a very early morning and a long day.

Mentally, I feel ready...let's just get his done.  Although, the reality of the whole lymph node biopsy is a bit scary.  That is really my biggest concern right now....coming out of this surgery and still having cancer.

I have so many wonderful friends, family, and even strangers who are praying for me right now and it is definitely felt.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Romans 12:12

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:6

I researched a lot on what to pack and what I needed to have at home.  I plan to do a post on that subject soon so that I can tell you what worked and what didn't, if I forgot anything, etc.

In the meantime, I'm going to chow down on some dinner before that NPO status kicks in!

MY TIMELINE:

12/22/16  Routine Screening Mammogram

01/18/17  Repeat Imaging and US of left breast; LUMP found.

01/20/17  Core Needle Biopsy

01/24/17  Biopsy results positive...Stage 0 DCIS, left breast

01/25/17  Meeting with Breast Center Navigator and Genetic Testing

01/30/17  Consultation with Surgical Oncologist, Dr. K

02/08/17  Consultation with Plastic Surgeon

02/21/17  Pre-op Visit with Dr. O's nurse

02/27/17 Pre-op Labs and Testing

03/05/17 Lymph Node Injection

03/06/17 SURGERY DAY!

Insurance Fiasco and Near Meltdown

Today is Friday, February 17, 2017 and  it's been a rough week, folks!


Today I can finally take a deep breath and relax. Today is the first day in a week that I didn't wake up exhausted from tossing and turning all night. Today was a good day!

My brain has not stopped working overtime since they found that lump a month ago tomorrow, but at least it was on a low hum. This week, I feel like one of those memes about having too many browser windows open!

It all started last Thursday.  My surgery date had been set the day before for Monday, March 6, 2017. We had a plan! Yes!
Thursday, I was off of work and happily fiddling around the house, working in my craft room on a project, etc.  That's when the first call came....the Plastics office had verified my insurance benefits and said: "I'm pretty sure you were not aware of this before you came here, but we are OUT OF NETWORK with your specific plan."  

My brain didn't seem to be processing.  I was thinking:  What??!!??  That's not even possible.  The Breast Center referred me along with my Surgical Oncologist. The Breast Center that is affiliated with the hospital I work in!  Not possible.

Turns out she was surprised too--having never had this happen with one of our employees in the past.  But, she was obligated to tell me what she had been told.  I was confident this was an error and let her know that I'd check into it.  I immediately contacted my Breast Center Navigator....who was equally shocked and also started looking into it.  There were lots of long phone calls Thursday and Friday between me and my insurance carrier, me and the Plastics office, me and my bosses, me and my family, etc.  No one could figure out the problem, but everyone felt sure it was an error. Both evenings, my insurance carrier assured me that it was a mistake and that they would let the provider know.  And, the next morning, I'd receive a message from the Plastics office that it was not an error.  

I had to work Saturday and Sunday, but I still received emails from the Plastics office manager and some of the folks I had contacted to try to figure the mess out.  It was a fairly sleepless weekend.  

I knew that everything was in God's hands and I had faith that there was a reason for this stressful situation even though I could not see what it was.  But, it was not easy. My mind raced with thoughts...what would I do?  How could I possibly afford this?  I can't afford this...so now what?  This is the only group of surgeons in the area that do this procedure...ugh.  Do I really have to consider a lesser surgery because I can't afford the one I felt confident I needed?  It was all so smooth, why now, Lord? 

On Monday, I was off of work and waiting to hear some good news....instead, the Plastics office informed me that they could not hold my surgery date while we tried to remedy this.  She told me that she would still be trying to help me, but the date would NOT be held.  This was quite a blow!  I felt like the wind just went out of my sails.  I was clinging to that date...that date meant we had an active plan...that date was hope. And, just like that 

it was gone. I nearly cried right then.  I came close several times this past week.

I reached out to everyone I knew who might be able to help.  And, it turns out it was a good thing I did because it was a much bigger confusing mess than anticipated and it had the potential to affect other employees trying to access benefits.  A couple more days and still no closer to a resolution.  Finally, I reached out on Thursday morning (afraid of going into another weekend) to my administrators.  I let them know how nervous I was getting about this rocking on.  Everyone I knew was praying. And, that morning, the absolute right contact from our corporate benefits called me!  Not only was he a sympathetic and kind man, he instilled confidence immediately. He was finally able to identify where the issue started and address it.  He was so very nice keeping me updated all day on his progress.  By 6pm, as my shift was winding down, I got the final word that it was fixed!  And, not only for me, but addressed with the carrier so that no one else should run into the same issue.

The Plastics office manager called me within 15 minutes and confirmed that my benefits were exactly as I had believed all along and that they could reschedule me!!  My original date had been given away, but just that same afternoon she had cancelled.  My Surgical Oncologist was still holding the date for me, so this morning, I had confirmation from both offices that I was back on the surgery board for March 6th!!  Praise the Lord! Prayers were answered.

All this week, I questioned the reason this was happening to me.  Why everything had fallen so easily in place just to have this horrible, stressful, scary week.  My mother commented that Satan was trying to shake me because I have been so good with all of this.  Nothing has gotten me down until now so he hit me with a big area of concern...finances.  Maybe.  

Maybe, it happened to me so that it wouldn't happen to someone else....someone else whose cancer is more invasive and a delay would have been scarier....someone else who didn't do medical billing in a past job like I did and might not have understood that this wasn't right and questioned it....someone else who needed the stress even less than I did. 

From: https://www.flickr.com/photos/brizo_the_scot/4013939756

It doesn't really matter why it happened. What matters is getting through it...lessons learned. 

You might not face insurance worries, but you are likely to hit some kind of roadblock on this journey....your flock of sheep in the road.  It might be finances, or your significant other getting time off work, or a family vacation that has to be cancelled or a 
hundred other things that throw you for a loop. Just know that you can get through it....or maybe you will have to detour around it....but you will get to the other side if you keep moving, keep pushing, keep going.

I got through my scary bump....or LUMP...in the road this week and I slept better last night than I have all month!  And, tonight, I spent enjoying a night out with my son.

This is quite the journey. I'm learning things I never really wanted to learn. But, say it with me:  

God is good ALL the time!  

And, ALL THE TIME, God IS good!