Life and Bra Shopping at 6 months Post-Bilateral Mastectomy and Reconstruction

**WARNING: Post-Surgery photos/Partially Nude photos in this post!**

Just a few days ago on 09/06/17 was the 6 month-iversary since my Bilateral Mastectomy!  Hard to believe that it's been half a year already.  Most days it still feels like a dream....hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there.  In addition to the 6 month milestone, last Tuesday was 6 weeks since my Phase 2 surgery with my nipple reconstruction.  I am super happy with the results from that surgery (and really looking forward to the finishing touch when they get colored-in).

School started for my son the second week of August (I know...very early!) so life is full of homework and soccer season is in full swing!  Work is busy, I've had several crafty projects going on, and it seems that my calendar always has something on it to do!  So, while for the most part life has moved on, I am reminded by the abdominal swelling by mid-day and the weird numb sensation that accompanies it that I have a new 'normal'.  

The abdomen thing is still quite strange and apparently going to go on for awhile, but I've been told that it gets better over time.  It's not quite 10am right now and I haven't been very active this morning so my abdomen and thighs feel fine.  This afternoon, both will have a strange numbness to them when touched.  It's nothing I would particularly notice except when touched or if I bump into something, etc.  It is not painful...just odd and sometimes a little annoying.  I notice it mostly at work when I lean over a crib rail or isolette or if I'm holding a baby against me.  In the past, I've likened it to when your foot falls asleep because there really isn't any other way to describe it that I can think of.  

Just like a lot of things on this breast cancer journey--time heals.  The swelling is definitely more pronounced now that I am no longer wearing the compression garment (My PS said I could stop wearing it at 6 weeks.). But overall, going without the garment has not been bad.  I'm not throwing any of them away for now because I still feel that my abdominal area is a bit weak and I might need to wear something on a particularly active day.  My PS said that the abdominal muscles take a longer time to heal than the external incisions.  Other than that numbness, I do not have anything I would call pain.  My abdomen still feels tight all the time.  When I get up from a reclining position or bend over is when I notice it the most.  I most definitely do not think I could do a bunch of sit-ups yet!

Speaking of sit-ups, most of you have heard of the LIVESTRONG Foundation, right?  I even got to share my story on their website.  LIVESTRONG has teamed-up with the YMCA and is offering a FREE program for any and all cancer survivors and/or fighters.  It sounds pretty awesome...an interview with a coach, a personalized workout program, 2-sessions a week with a group for discussion, support, and exercise and it's all free for 12-weeks!  My PS said I was okay to start exercise (within reason) and we have a new YMCA just down the road from the house.  So, I spoke with the Program Coordinator and got on the list for one of the upcoming sessions!  Those who know me know that I do NOT exercise by choice, so this is a leap for me. But, I am looking forward to checking this program out and hoping that it will help me to strengthen my abdomen and core again.  If you are interested in joining a group, check out your local Y or click on the link I posted above.  I'll be sure to post when I get started to let you know how it is!

The other big adventure around here was my release to go BRA SHOPPING!  My PS said that at 6 weeks post-Phase 2, I should be whatever size I was going to be....no more swelling. My incisions are all completely healed, no scabs, and everything is soft.  So, this past week, I went shopping!  A friend had given me a Victoria's Secret gift card so I started there. And, well.....here's how it went for me:

Many of you have had a professional bra fitting and if you haven't, you should. The VS store is lovely albeit a little overwhelming, so it was nice to have someone measure me and make knowledgeable recommendations based on my new size and fit. 

Prior to having my son, I was small...I was a 30-32 big A-small B.  After breastfeeding and weight gain over the years, I have been anywhere from a 34-36 B-C.  Before surgery, a B was too small but many Cs were too big.  The goal with my PS was to get me to a full C.  VS suggested that I was a D!  

I specifically asked for only wire-free because that is all I've been allowed to wear up until now and I've been told that overall it is better for us (There's a lot of debate in the bra world on this topic, I guess.).  Unfortunately, VS does not have much to offer in this category (other than sports bra-style).  I entered the dressing room and the sales associate brought me their most popular wire-free bra. It was simple and plain....and quite boring.  

As you can see if the pics, it had some fit issues too.  Without the wire support, it gaps at the sides and especially right in the center!  Not flattering because you can see the bulge on the side under my shirt and the gap in the front makes it look like I have a "uni-boob".  
The associate brought me one of their regular wired bras so that I could see the difference.  She also had me try on a smaller measurement with a bigger cup....apparently, a 36DD is almost the same as a 38D??  There is a learning curve in the bra fitting world! 

Anyway....

As you can see, the wired bras fit better! No gap on the sides or center.  However, I felt that wire!!  I'm sure that part of it is because I haven't wore an wired bra in so long.  This particular bra was nothing to write home about (and certainly not for the price tag).  I agreed to try on their famous and cute sports bra even though it had to go over my head....how hard could that be?

Going on was okay but coming off was NOT easy!
I was stuck in this one!

It actually crossed my mind that I might have to buy this one just because I was going to need to be CUT OUT OF IT!!  Their sports bra styles do not go up past a 36 and this one was tight!!    Panic sets in and my fear that I was going to have to ask a stranger for help getting out of a bra pushed me...I wiggled and was practically upside down trying to get out of it. Never again....never ever again.  It's a cute bra for a much smaller woman.

Feeling defeated, I tried on their brand new bra...Sexy Illusions. The sales associate had one on.  She was well-endowed and assured me that it was awesome....smooth and light and the wire was well-padded.  It truly is a very nice bra!  I can still feel the wire (again, I think I'm just sensitive now) but nothing like the other bras.

No gap in the front and smooth sides!

Looks smooth under my clothes!

I went ahead and purchased one of these...I even got a free $14 lipstick just for trying on the new style and they had a special panty sale so I walked away with some new undies too!

Since VS was not as successful as I'd hoped, I walked over to SOMA....heard great things about their bras.  They did offer a couple more options (3 total) in a wire-free but again, none were very pretty.

The fit was similar at SOMA....I measured as a 38 D.  However, I did need a C in one style. The wire-free offered the same issue in the front...this time an even bigger gap!  I think I could have fit a Dr. Pepper can in there!!

Ummm....no.

They do have a really nice wire-free called the Vanishing Back that was significantly better!  

No large gaps but they only had black or green in stock that day so I opted to wait.  As I was walking out, I saw the Brighton store and couldn't resist treating myself to a little bling for my bracelet!

On my way home, feeling disappointed in my lack of bra success, I pulled into JCPenney. They came through for me after my Phase 1 so....

JCPenney for the win again!  The selection of wire-free bras was phenomenal!  

All colors and styles and some were even pretty!  I was pressed for time at this point so I did not even try all of the ones they offered.  I found this beauty though and bought it:

Look how small that gap is:

So, at the end of the day, I came home with one wire-free bra from JCPenney (Ambrielle) and one wired bra from Victoria's Secret.  I emailed my PS Nurse that evening to ask about my options. I told her that I was not having much success finding supportive bras without underwire and wondered if it was okay to wear underwire routinely now.  Thankfully, she responded that I am clear to wear underwire bras now!  Both of the ones I bought are very comfortable and after wearing the wired bra a couple of times, I am noticing it less. So, I feel more comfortable with trying on more wired options on the next shopping trip.

All of that being said......
I've needed to lose weight for some time now but weight loss has not been my focus this past 6 months.  Now that surgeries are complete and I'm healing well, there really isn't an excuse for the terrible eating habits I've developed! There's no compression garment or binder to hide it anymore either! I have gained almost 10 lbs since my diagnosis! And, there is nothing like a trip into the harsh reality of a dressing room to make one realize just how bad it has become!! 

Getting serious about getting this weight off starts this week!  New body, new breasts, new red hair color, new cancer-free me, right?  :)

For those asking and wondering how the new nipples are healing.....
I am thrilled and think they look great!  

6 weeks post-Phase 2 Reconstruction and
6 months post-Phase 1 Bilateral Mastectomy

That's it for my latest adventures on this breast cancer journey!  I'll keep you posted on what's new.  And, if you have any great bra recommendations, shoot them this way!

Enjoy your week!